Running off at the typewriter …
When is enough enough at the University of Louisville — the sleaziest athletic program in all of college sports?
Here’s hoping the Atlantic Coast Conference hammers Louisville for its latest dirtball move — willingly accepting the ill-gotten intel provided to Wake Forest opponents by the team’s traitorous radio broadcaster Tommy Elrod, who just happens to be a former Winter Park High quarterback.
Bottom line: If you would stoop so low as to cheat in order to gain a competitive advantage on poor little Wake Forest, then you should be hit with the full force of the ACC’s administrative hammer. Especially considering Louisville coach Bob Petrino lied to ESPN when the story first broke and he said the Cardinals never received Elrod’s advance bootleg copy of the Wake Forest game plan.
Even worse, tone-deaf Louisville AD Tom Jurich should be ashamed of himself for the embarrassing original statement he put out in which he said that, yes, Louisville’s coaching staff received the Wakeyleaks but, um, they didn’t really use them. Yeah, sure, Tom, and your hoops coach Rick Pitino didn’t know anything about all those hookers having sex with recruits in that bawdy bordello known as the UL basketball dorm.
On Friday, after he had been barbecued by the local and national media, Jurich changed his tune and suspended offensive coordinator Lonnie Galloway — the coach who reportedly was in cahoots with Elrod — for the upcoming bowl game in Orlando. Jurich also said Louisville will accept any disciplinary action the ACC deems appropriate.
How is it that Jurich somehow has the reputation for being one of the nation’s best ADs when he has perpetually looked the other way while Pitino has been involved in two tawdry sex scandals, and Jurich also hired Petrino after he was fired at Arkansas amid another sex scandal.
Where is the outrage among Louisville’s fans? When is somebody at Louisville — the school president, an influential trustee or booster, a disgusted faculty member — going to stand up and say our athletic leadership is an embarrassment to our university?
By the way, Petrino and his Cardinals will be in Orlando to play LSU in the Dec. 31 Buffalo Wild Wings Citrus Bowl.
My question: Will they fly into town on the team plane or just ooze in on the team slime?
SHORT STUFF: A moment of silence, please, Craig Sager has gone to That Big Sideline Interview Session in the Sky. Here’s hoping St. Peter is wearing a purple plaid jacket and pink polka-dotted shirt in welcoming Sager into hoops heaven. There’s just five words that need to be on Sager’s tombstone to tell future generations the story of what a great guy he was: “Even Gregg Popovich liked him.” … In honor of Sager, here are my top three most memorable “sideline” interview moments: (1) A drunk Joe Namath wanting to kiss Suzy Kolber; (2) Richard Sherman‘s Michael Crabtree rant to a bewildered Erin Andrews; (3) Larry Merchant telling Floyd Mayweather, “I wish I was 50 years younger and I would kick your [bleep].” …
I’m not saying new Florida Atlantic coach Lane Kiffin should be ripped for the controvesial signing of former Florida State quarterback De’Andre Johnson, who was dismissed from FSU last year after he was caught on video punching a woman in a bar, but did he have to do it during his FIRST day on the job? Johnson had been at East Mississippi Community College — the school that was featured in the Netflix Series “Last Chance U.” Turns out last-chance U is now FAU (Felonious Assault University). … Outspoken Seattle Seahawks star Sherman ripped the NFL earlier this week for playing Thursday night games and referred to the games as a “poopfest.” Correction, Mr. Sherman. With those lime-green uniforms your team was wearing against the Rams on Thursday night, this was more indicative of a “pukefest.” … Did you see where Cleveland Cavaliers stars LeBron James, Kyrie Irving and Kevin Love, in the Cavs’ only visit to Memphis this season, didn’t even bother to make the trip Wednesday because they wanted to stay in Cleveland and rest? What a disgrace and an insult to all those fans who bought tickets to see LeBron play in Memphis. One fan held up a sign, “Traveled 4 hours and spent $800 to see LeBron and he’s at HOME.” With apologies to Sherman, this was the real “poopfest” because LeBron and the Cavs defecated all over the fans of Memphis. …
Speaking of LeBron: Can you believe Jay Z of all people actually took a shot at Phil Jackson for using the term “posse” to describe LeBron’s business associates? Don’t get me wrong, LeBron has every right to be offended by Phil’s choice of words, but not Jay Z — the guy who regularly uses the n-word in his songs and refers to women in the most derogatory terms you can imagine. Puh-leeze. … I’m not saying Bismack Biyombo is bad at the foul line, but like my buddy Doc likes to say, “Every time he takes a free throw, an angel loses its wings.”
MIKEY LIKES: UCF over Arkie St. by 12 in Cure Bowl, Bucs over Cowboys by 4 in Upset Special, Dolphins over Jets by Moore than you think, Texans over Jaguars by 8, Steelers over Bengals by 4, Packers over Bears by 10, Patriots over Broncos by 5, Giants over Lions by 11, Prince over Craig Sager by a pink sequined jumpsuit in the battle for Heaven’s Most Flamboyant Dresser Award.
Open Mike
Don’t forget, you can click on OrlandoSentinel.com and read the wildly popular Open Mike blog and interactive extravaganza to get my freshest takes on what’s happening in the world of sports. Here’s an excerpt from a blog where I rank all of the college football coaches in the state:
Serious question for all of you Florida Gators fans out there in the wake of USF hiring ousted Texas coach Charlie Strong and FAU hiring Alabama offensive coordinator Lane Kiffin: Would you trade your coach, Jim McElwain, for any of the coaches at the non-Power Five schools in the state?
It struck me when it was being reported that Kiffin would become the next head coach at FAU that the coaches at some of the more financially disadvantaged programs in the state — Kiffin, Strong, Scott Frost at UCF and Butch Davis at FIU — might just be more attractive than the oft-criticized coach (McElwain) at the richest, most prestigious program in the state.
Personally, I think McElwain, who has led the Gators to two straight SEC Eastern Division championships in his first two years on the job, gets too much criticism from UF fans but, then again, I’m not so sure he’s a better coach/recruiter than the coaches at UCF and USF.
If I were an athletics director in this state and were rating coaches on their “hire-ability,” here is how I would rank them:
(1) Jimbo Fisher, FSU: He’s already won a national title and is the second-best recruiter in the country behind Nick Saban. Need we say more?
(2) Charlie Strong, USF: He has extensive recruiting ties in this state dating back to the days when he was a defensive assistant under Steve Spurrier and Urban Meyer at UF. Also has proven he can win and win big at Louisville (see 33-23 throttling of Gators in 2013 Sugar Bowl).
(3) Scott Frost, UCF: He’s young, he’s exciting, he has a great offensive mind and has taken UCF from winless last season to a bowl game this season. Although Frost has only been a head coach for one season, his upside makes him worth the gamble at No. 3 in the BCS (Bianchi Charting System).
(4) Jim McElwain, Florida: I’m not as down on McElwain as the nattering nabobs of negativity on the Gator message boards. This just in: Coach Mac has won two consecutive SEC Eastern Division championships in his first two years at UF.
(5) Mark Richt, Miami: He had an outstanding record at Georgia and the Bulldogs will someday regret firing him. With his winning percentage in Athens and his recruiting ties in Florida dating to his days as offensive coordinator at FSU, an argument could be made that he should be higher on this list.
(6). Lane Kiffin, FAU: I’m more than just a little skeptical as to why Kiffin would leave his job as offensive coordinator at Alabama to take a low-level head-coaching job at FAU. Did Nick Saban shove Kiffin out the door?
(7) Butch Davis, FIU: Obviously, he had great success when he was coaching the University of Miami in the 1990s, but that was a long, long time ago. Davis just turned 65, and let’s not forget he has a bit of “academic” baggage from his stint at North Carolina.
Mail bonding
Most interesting reader retorts, radio rabble, tangy tweets and message-board mockery of the week:
*On University of Florida offense: “Hey, maybe Jim McElwain could go back to becoming Alabama’s offensive coordinator and then the Gators might have a chance against the Crimson Tide.”
*On Orlando Magic and their offense: “Maybe they can channel their inner Seattle Sounders and win the NBA championship without shooting the ball.”
*On Major League Baseball outlawing the “hazing” ritual of having rookies dress up as women: “Can everyone take a deep breath and collectively unbunch your panties?”
Notable quotables
To get you in the Christmas spirit, here are three of my favorite quotes about the holiday season:
*”The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. They just couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.” — Jay Leno
*”The reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where the bad girls live.” — Dennis Miller
*”Why is Christmas like a day at the office? Because you do all the work, and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.” — Author Unknown
mbianchi@orlandosentinel.com. Follow him on Twitter @BianchiWrites. Listen to his radio show every weekday from 6 to 9 a.m. on FM 96.9 and AM 740.
