gridlight gridkeep gridboss - f1minds, heartsforlaurenlopez (2024)

Chapter 1: and just like that ive been found

Chapter Text

'honey badger' created a groupchat.

'honey badger' added 'super max', 'logan🦅🇺🇸' & 15 others to the group.

'honey badger' named the group: 'super secret official formula one business chat'
___________

lh44: what is this?

super max: NOO YOU ACC DID IT??😭

honey badger: ofc i did it was a brilliant idea

lando🥶💯: yoooo wsg chatt🔥

oscar pastry: lando what.

lando🥶💯: whaddup oscar my g

oscar pastry: why are you talking like that

George Russell: Why is he talking like a british charva?😭

lh44: thats crazy

albono: BAHAHA PLS💀

seb: danny why have you made a gc?

honey badger: seb why is your name so lame?

seb: answer my question

honey badger: because funny

honey badger: now answer mine

seb: because its my name

honey badger: yeah yeah well its very boring

'honey badger' changed 'seb''s name to 'grid mum'

grid mum: f*ck you danny

super max: HAH

charles lechair: not again

pear gasly: free access to the gossip imo

charles lechair: wait so true actually

jb22: 'the gossip' ?😭

pear gasly: the gossip.

chili: why is my phone blowing up?

lando🥶💯: CARLOS

chili: hi lando?

lando🥶💯: HI

nando: what the f*ck is this

grid mum: language???? theres children

nando: HA GRID MUM THATS BRILLIANT

ice man: shut the f*ck up fernando

honey badger: thankyou nando!

grid mum: kimi when did you get here?

ice man: ive BEEN here

super max: hes hovering

albono: not a hoverer

ice man: that is not a word

albono: it is now

logan🦅🇺🇸: erm hello ?

ice man: shut the f*ck up alex

oscar pastry: logan!

albono: how about no

logan🦅🇺🇸: oscar hi hru !!

ice man: i hate you

oscar pastry: im good! you?

albono: damn ily2 ig🙁

logan🦅🇺🇸: good to hearr !! im okay !

honey badger: STOP TALKING AT THE SAME TIME I CANT KEEP UP😭

super max: that was likeee??? the easiest convos to read are u ok danny???

honey badger: my terrible terrible mental state has nothing to do with this

super max: YOUR WHAT MENTAL STATE?💀

honey badger: STOP

lh44: you are all insufferable

jb22: you know who is even more insufferable?

lh44: what. WAIT jenson please dont

lh44: please

lh44: PLEASE JENSON

'jb22' has added 'nico' to the group.

lh44: die jenson die die die

nico: now thats no way to greet a friend

lh44: good thing im NOT your friend.

nico: ouch, straight through the heart <3

lando🥶💯: wait arnt you 2 beefing??💯

nico: are you stupid?

oscar pastry: yes, yes he is.

lando🥶💯: no???😡 ion kno u js sed he hurt ur feelings so lyke?🔥

nico: obvious sarcasm??? so you like, ARE stupid?

oscar pastry: i tried to tell you

pear gasly: omg jenson tysm you brought the gossip

charles lechair: i worship the ground you walk on

jb22: oh stop it, im blushing!

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): urm?? what is this?

pear gasly: driver group chat!

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): oh fun!!! :)

charles lechair: what is that

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): the emoticon??

charles lechair: yes, the not scary or ruined by lando emoji

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): HAHA

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): anyway its just an emoticon, i can show you how to do some of them?

charles lechair: YES

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): ok !! ^^

pear gasly: omg theyre bonding

grid mum: having a proud mum moment??

charles lechair: proud MUM? lmaoo i hope not

pear gasly: STFU GO BACK TO UR LITTLE BONDING MOMENT.

charles lechair: damn ok not suspicious at all

super max: suspicious?

charles lechair: suspicious.

pear gasly: you wanna talk about suspicious????

charles lechair: no thankyou pierre!!! i am deeply sorry about my earlier actions! im full of remorse and regret!! i hope you can find it in your little heart to forgive a poor soul such as mine

pear gasly: LMFAO CHARLES JUST GO AWAY😭😭

charles lechair: okay but im doing this for the cute faces and not you

pear gasly: whatever you say lechair

oscar pastry: anyone else lost?

lando🥶💯: ong im so lost rn aha😂💯

oscar pastry: and just like that ive been found

logan🦅🇺🇸: 💀💀

lando🥶💯: omg logan we got matching users ahaa

'oscar pastry' has changed 'logan🦅🇺🇸''s name to 'logie bear'

super max: LMFAOO

albono: THATS WILDD😭😭

logie bear: logie bear?? really?

oscar pastry: im not good at thinking on the spot

logie bear: evidently😭

oscar pastry: im going to ignore the absolute SASS radiating off that message.

nico: ive taught him well.

jb22: look at our boy, all grown up

nico: tearing up thinking about it

lh44: 'our boy' ???

jb22: mine and nicos PLATONIC lovechild obviously???

lh44: OBVIOUSLY????

nico: calm down darling, id never cheat on you!!

lh44: CHEAT??? DARLING??? NICO STFU WE ARE NOT TOGETHER I HATE YOU FJDIWIDJDSJ

nando: is he.. okay??

George Russell: No he is not. Just saw him throw his phone at a wall.

nico: LMAO

lando🥶💯: that ws srcasm agen?🙏

nico: wow well done!!! arent you a smart cookie!

lando🥶💯: see now that ws unnecessary😔😔

nico: those f*ckass emojis are unnecessary.

charles lechair: im so happy ･ᴗ･

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): glad you enjoy them😭

charles lechair: THEYRE SO CUTEE (ᗒᗣᗕ)

charles lechair: PLUS LANDO CANT ACCESS THEM SO WIN WIN

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): the vendeta against landos typing in this gc is amazing

oscar pastry: neccessary though. so. very. neccessary.

logie bear: atleast he isnt like this in person?

oscar pastry: unless he pulls out his phone then its all ’wagwan charva’ ’wsg oscar my guy’ and ’reply to me on snap yh? cant be losing our streak’

albono: you have a SNAP STREAK?💀

oscar pastry: if i wait 13 minutes, no we do not.

lando🥶💯: OSCAR DONT U DARE.

lando🥶💯: I WILL PAY 99P TO RESTORE OUR STREAK AND U WILL HAVE TO LIVE W THE GUILT OF LOSING OUR 267 DAY STREAK😡😡

oscar pastry: i cant escape

albono: 267 DAY STREAK IM WHEEZING

lando🥶💯: WATS FUNNY AB THAT BIG MAN😡

oscar pastry: im in hell

albono: DONT GET ALL TOUGH WITH ME LANDO😭

lando🥶💯: DO NOT STEEEEPPP TO ME PAL ILL AV U OUTSIDE TESCOS

oscar pastry: end my suffering

albono: LMFAOOOO NOT TESCOS💀💀💀

logie bear: oscar dont say that youre just letting him win, fight it

lando🥶💯: CMON M8 MEET ME AL CLART U

oscar pastry: i cant keep fighting it logan, its too much

albono: CLART ME HAH IM CREASING THIS IS TOO MUCH

logie bear: i believe in you osc, fight the charva

lando: ALEX PAL UR NOT ARD ILL f*ck U UP🔥

oscar pastry: im trying my best.

albono: HAHAHA f*ck ME UP THATS CLASS

albono: U WONT DO SQUAT LANDO

super max: 💀💀💀

chili: why does lando text like that? he does not even talk like that.

George Russell: His inner charva takes over once he is presented with an electronic.

chili: 'charva' ??

albono: google it

chili: im not sure i want to???

lh44: good choice

lando🥶💯: theres nowt rong wiv a charva🔥

oscar pastry: i crave the sweet relief of death

logie bear: OSCAR😭

mark webbah: my poor boy is going insane

oscar pastry: MARK?

nando: since when was mark in this chat?

honey badger: since i made it??? ofc im going to add a fellow aussie

oscar pastry: FINALLY A SANE PERSON MARK SAVE ME

logie bear: ouch???

oscar pastry: ...FINALLY A SECOND SANE PERSON MARK SAVE ME

logie bear: !!! :)

mark webbah: save you from what oscar??😭

oscar pastry: LANDO??? ALEX??? DANNY??? JENSON??? LEWIS??? NICO??? CHARLES??? PIERRE??? MAX???

charles lechair: FULLY offended i have done nothing except bond with yuki :-(

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): literally !!

pear gasly: WTF DID I DO TO U OSCAR

oscar pastry: gay diddy gay gay gay

pear gasly: WHAT.

charles lechair: LMFAO PLSSS

super max: surprised i was the last thought tbf

albono: im not that surprised im there

honey badger: yeah me neither😔

lh44: whatever did i do to be considered insane?

jb22: swear you had a fit because of one britney rosberg

nico: i hope you suffocate

jb22: cruel and unnecessary im coming for you

jb22: you will pay for that

nico: my timbers have been successfully shivered???

'jb22' has changed 'nico''s name to 'britney'

britney: 1. f*ck you 2. im surprised it took you this long 3. f*ck you

grid mum: language nico

britney: f*ck you also

grid mum: NOT KIND.

ice man: nico let me in.

britney: let you in????

britney: kimi..?

britney: WHAT THE f*ck

ice man: language, and let me in.

britney: WHY ARE YOU OUTSIDE MY WINDOW

super max: VAHSHSHASHDH

honey badger: NO WAY BAHA💀

charles lechair: PIERRE 📲

pear gasly: 🫡

britney: HOW DID YOU GET OUTSIDE MY WINDOW???

ice man: climbed, now let me in before i break in.

britney: sigh, fine

super max: not seb having a bodyguard????

grid mum: do not fw me🤷♂️

logie bear: noted.😭😭

______________________

'charles' opened a direct message with 'pierre'.

charles: PIERRE

pierre: YES YES I KNOW

charles: YOU ARE THINKING WHAT I AM THINKING???

pierre: kimi and seb????

charles: ABSOLUTELY.

pierre: okay so id say they are deffo not together but clearly kimi has taken a liking to him😭

charles: yes!! and when i go see seb he never shuts up about kimi

pierre: ooh!! requited love !!

charles: i think theyd make a cute couple :D

pierre: deffo!! ive added them to the spread sheet

charles: YAY!! now its almost finished ! >:)

pierre: you really like those emoticons dont you?😭

charles: absolutely, they are adorable!! i feel the need to use one in every message :-)

pierre: god please dont, i have enough on with yuki using them all the time

charles: 'i have enough on' as if you dont find it endearing????

pierre: die

'pierre' has closed this direct message.

______________________

'super secret official formula one business chat'

honey badger: and thats how i managed to get a pencil stuck in my ear

britney: i think i lost brain cells reading that???

super max: im creasing how does one do that😭

oscar pastry: i mean its daniel what else can you expect??

super max: HAH FAIR POINT

charles lechair: do i even WANT to backread???

britney: no

oscar pastry: no

chili: no

logie bear: no

lh44: no

grid mum: no

jb22: no

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): no

George Russell: No

albono: no

nando: no

mark webbah: no

ice man: no

super max: yes

charles lechair: ok i will

pear gasly: how slick of you

charles lechair: stfu!! <3

super max: ???

super max: anyone else confused

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): nope

honey badger: no

lando🥶💯: yes actually!😂

'oscar pastry' has removed 'lando🥶💯' from the group.

jb22: LMAO

britney: thats wild😭

Chapter 2: just verbally abuse each other until you calm down

Chapter Text

3:13AM
'super secret official formula one business chat'

lando🥶💯: oscar watch ur back pal uv just made my list😡🔥

oscar pastry: NO WHAT WHO ADDED HIM BACK WHAT THE f*ck MY PEACE MY f*ckING PEACE WHO DID THIS

honey badger: LMFAO WELCOME BACK LANDOO

chili: i told danny to add him back, what about it OSCAR?

lando🥶💯: ty danny boy and carlooos yous ar real ones🙏🙏💯💯

oscar pastry: all three of you suck.

mark webbah: my child has been derailed, who derailed my child?

logie bear: hes always been derailed you guys just have not seen it until now😭

charles lechair: you had to deal with him like this all throughout his childhood??

logie bear: well i mean, i wouldnt say HAD to DEAL with him! i always enjoyed and still enjoy oscs company, hes just a little... different!

chili: bless you for having to deal with THAT for so long.

logie bear: i just said i would NOT word it like that??? whats your issue with osc??

chili: he is bitch.

oscar pastry: INVISIBLE BEEF.

super max: LMFAO 'INVISIBLE BEEF'

logie bear: get his ass osc

oscar pastry: oh im gettin it

grid mum: no PHYSICAL fighting today, just verbally abuse each other until you calm down.

ice man: smart idea.

pear gasly: charles !!! 📲📲📲📲

charles lechair: 🫡

super max: where do they run off to constantly??😭

honey badger: f*ck if i know

oscar pastry: ANYWAY.

oscar pastry: back to sebs very smart idea

logie bear: i dont think its THAT smart osc😭

oscar pastry: dont ruin my fun

oscar pastry: all i want is to abuse carlos in peace

chili: 'invisible beef'

oscar pastry: you made it visible when you gained an OBSESSION with me

chili: f*ck you koala looking barbeque having shoey drinking cretin

oscar pastry: bad idea to target the aussie things i do in this groupchat

honey badger: CARLOS?? I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS??? YOU SAID YOU LIKE THE SHOEYS??? HOW COULD YOU??? IM ABOUT TO REMOVE YOU??? IM CRYING??? WTFFFF???

mark webbah: you have wagered a war you cannot win my friend.

chili: the insults were directed towards oscar, not you two.

honey badger: IT STILL HURTS

oscar pastry: anyways carlos

chili: what?

oscar pastry: youre not as hot as you think.

chili: ... what???

oscar pastry: mid.

logie bear: has lando taken his phone???😭😭

'oscar pastry' has deleted 2 messages.

oscar pastry: how could you say that logan??

albono: 💀💀

grid mum: have we got it all out our systems??

charles lechair: not yet.

grid mum: charles?? when did you get back?? who are you beefing??

'charles lechair' has changed 'George Russell''s name to 'earth sneaker'

super max: HAHSJSSHHS WHAT

albono: EARTH SNEAKER??? HELLOOO IM WEEPING

earth sneaker: What in the everliving f*ck is this Charles?

charles lechair: i refuse to believe you are human

honey badger: BAHAHAH

jb22: WHATT💀

charles lechair: which planet are you from??

earth sneaker: Earth??????😭

charles lechair: no like which planet were you sent from??? you can trust me dw i wont tell.

super max: wait is he serious???

pear gasly: i wish he wasnt.

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): isnt georges 'earth sneaking' on the spread sheet???

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): ...

'yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘)' deleted a message.

albono: spread sheet???

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): spread sheet ?

super max: what spread sheet yuki??

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): thats my question... what spread sheet???

lh44: you just said there was a 'spread sheet'. we are asking YOU about this spread sheet.

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): its cruel to lie lewis, what spread sheet??

britney: HA I LIKE THIS KID

lh44: are you GASLIGHTING me?????

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): okay NOW youre being crazy. what the hell is a gaslight??? thats not even a word.

super max: 💀💀

'earth sneaker' sent a screenshot

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): i didnt know you could edit george!! where have you been hiding this talent?? though id prefer you not to forge a fake message from me about a 'spread sheet' im unaware exists!! :)

earth sneaker: Oh my god.

britney: I LOVE THIS KID WTF HES SO FUNNY

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): HA thanks nico !

britney: literally anytime kid😭

charles lechair: BACK TO THE ORIGINAL POINT GEORGE RUSSELL IS NOT FROM THIS PLANET

earth sneaker: Are you trying to say im an alien???

charles lechair: absolutely. i dont trust those evil radioactive orbs of yours.

albono: hey!! georges eyes are not evil!! theyre very pretty.

earth sneaker: Oh! Thankyou, Alex. Thats kind.

albono: hahahha anytime i totally meant to say that out loud and not in my head!!!!

britney: lmao alex is whipped

albono: stfu !!! <333

pear gasly: charles 📲

charles lechair: ay ay captain!!🫡

super max: its now my life goal to find out where they dissapear to

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): yes same im very confused about where they go and definitely dont know

jb22: struggling to believe that one buddy

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): struggling to believe your hair is really yours

jb22: WHAT THE f*ck

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): i said what i said

jb22: i thought you were the nice one😭😭

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): i am the nice one!!

pear gasly: short guy, short temper

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): 🖕🖕

grid mum: ANYWAY. GO TO SLEEP. ITS 3:24AM.

jb22: mother mode has been activated

grid mum: you aswell jenson.

jb22: f*ck you im an adult i do as i please

ice man: ..

jb22: night guys!!!

super max: LMAOO

albono: he got HUMBLED.

grid mum: I SAID ALL OF YOU GO TO SLEEP

...

grid mum: thankyou! goodnight.

3:46AM
'super secret official formula one business chat'

'yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘)' changed 15 names.

finn: what the f*ck is this????😭

sam: yuki dont tell me this is what i think it is

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): depends on what you think it is

kurt: why is this my name?? also why do i have the same name as someone???

kurt: yeah what is going on yuki?

sam: you ever heard of glee?

blaine: OMG GLEE😭😭

artie: what the f*ck yuki😭

sam: he has assigned you glee characters, i TOLD HIM to wait till the morning and just TELL YOU but he said he 'needed to be dramatic' so!

emma: now i NEED to know why we are assigned these.

finn: deadass.

mike: yuki explain before i kick you🫡

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): ay ay🫡

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): okay so, max is finn because trauma.

finn: WTF😭

mike: LMAO THATS IT???

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): and he cant dance

finn: that was just mean

'yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘)' has changed 'finn''s name to 'super max'

super max: FREEDOM

rachel: wht the f*ck i want freedom bro

rachel: n why am i a girl name im a guy aha😂

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): lando=rachel because shes really annoying

kurt: i stand by your decision.

rachel: lit rude asf my guy🥶

'yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘)' has changed 'rachel''s name to 'lando🥶💯'

lando🥶💯: nicee🙏🔥

kurt: you had the choice to make it normal and just made it stupid again

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): for the funny

sue: why is my name sue?

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): jenson youre sue because shes iconic and a schemer

sue: so true, i cannot argue.

'yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘)' has changed 'sue''s name to 'jb22'

will: Who is Will and why am i him?

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): hes the glee teacher, anyway ur will bc i couldnt get over charles saying you snuck onto this planet and will looks like an earth sneaker too

will: Cruel.

brittany: SEE ITS NOT JUST ME WHO THINKS HES NOT FROM HERE

'yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘)' has changed 'will''s name to 'earth sneaker'

earth sneaker: Not sure which i prefered.

brittany: so why am i brittany and not nico??

kurt: f*ck you

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): because your fun and also a little stupid

brittany: nice enough.

'yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘)' has changed 'brittany''s name to 'charles lechair'

kurt: so im one of the kurts becauseee???

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): a fav of mine, hom*o, and fashion icon

kurt: 1. awww!! 2. f*ck you. 3. so real of you

'yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘)' has changed 'kurt''s name to 'britney'

mike: why am i mike??

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): cool and definitely knows how to dance

mike: OMG FACTS

super max: so he can dance and i cant???? wtf yuki 🙁

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): i said what i said

'yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘)' has changed 'mike''s name to 'honey badger'

honey badger: top tier name ngl

artie: okay ive seen glee before, so why am i artie????

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): nerd

artie: HELLO?? RUDE???

honey badger: i mean have you seen the naming wdc video

artie: ...still rude

'yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘)' has changed 'artie''s name to 'grid mum'

grid mum: couldve just made it seb again.

honey badger: wheres the fun in that???

blaine: i also watched the show, why am i one of the blaines??

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): you can definitely sing, also hom*o

blaine: sigh, ill take it???

kurt: HE CAN SING

blaine: no i cant haha wdym

'yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘)' has changed 'blaine''s name to 'logie bear'

logie bear: i couldnt have my original user back??

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): no i didnt want to search for the eagle emoji

super max: 😭😭

blaine: why am i the other blaine then..?

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): fashion icon, hom*o

blaine: fashion icon is true but dont spread lies about me

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): what lie??

honey badger: 💀💀

'yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘)' has changed 'blaine''s name to 'lh44'

puck: what is a puck

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): you are puck because (in oscars words) youre mid but still somehow get bitches

kurt: do not bring that up

logie bear: 😭😭

puck: ill.. take it??

'yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘)' has changed 'puck''s name to 'chili'

emma: okay so im emma bc...???

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): youre sweet

emma: aww thanks yuki😭

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): also youre inlove with an earth sneaker

'yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘)' has deleted 1 message.

emma: WTF😭

super max: LMAOSKDDHSJX

earth sneaker: Wait what did it say?

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): nothing

'yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘)' has changed 'emma''s name to 'albono'

quinn: who is quinn???

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): a bad bitch

grid mum: i agree with this choice.

quinn: fair.

'yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘)' has changed 'quinn''s name to 'ice man'

kurt: and im the other kurt because..?

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): you just give kurt vibes

kurt: oh???

logie bear: thats not a bad thing dw!!!

kurt: oh ok!

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): also hom*o

kurt: out of pocket uneccessary not needed.

chili: 💀💀

'yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘)' has changed 'kurt''s name to 'oscar pastry'

rory: and im 'rory' because...??

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): underrated, goofy accent

rory: damn okay just make fun of me then

'yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘)' has changed 'rory''s name to 'mark webbah'

honey badger: the aussie slander is getting unbearable guys

oscar pastry: facts.

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): oops???

sam: and im sam because??

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): funny and very underrated

sam: aw thanks yukino!!

charles lechair: i need a private spread sheet

sam: f*ck YOU

super max: SO THERE IS A SPREAD SHEET???

'charles lechair' has deleted 1 message.

super max: sigh.

'yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘)' has changed 'sam''s name to 'pear gasly'

ice man: we are finally done here??

nando: wait. why didnt i get a character??

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): although i like glee, you are too good for that show.

nando: thankyou yuki.

honey badger: AND WE ARENT TOO GOOD FOR THAT SHOW?? WHAT ARE YOUR STANDARDS HERE YUKI?????

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): no ur just right for glee.

honey badger: was that a compliment or...???

grid mum: no it was not.

logie bear: not a compliment.

honey badger: wow so were just being mean now yuki?? :(

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): sorry danny :( but what can you expect its literally 4AM.

grid mum: thankyou for reminding me yuki, SLEEP.

oscar pastry: 🫡

____________________

5:37AM
'super secret official formula one business chat'

'oscar pastry' has removed 'lando🥶💯' from the group.

'chili' has added 'lando🥶💯' to the group.

'oscar pastry' has removed 'lando🥶💯' from the group.

'chili' has added 'lando🥶💯' to the group.

'oscar pastry' has removed 'lando🥶💯' from the group.

'chili' has added 'lando🥶💯' to the group.

'oscar pastry' has removed 'lando🥶💯' from the group.

'chili' has added 'lando🥶💯' to the group.

oscar pastry: STOP ADDING IT BACK

chili: STOP REMOVING HIM

grid mum: ive given up. if i say the word sleep one more time i might have a f*cking aneurysm.

super max: LMFAO

honey badger: YOU MADE HIM QUIT HIS DUTIES AS GRID MUM😭😭

lando🥶💯: dint kno u ladies luvd me sm to fight over me😂😂🔥

oscar pastry: do NOT flatter yourself.

chili: ...exactly!!!

pear gasly: 🤨📲

charles lechair: 👍

Chapter 3: yes, i am apart of the S.S.S

Chapter Text

(first set of dms, this is from chapter 2 at the point where seb and kimi interact. YES charles and pierre are fanboys what about it????)

(also note that their names are what the OTHER person in that direct message has them saved as!)

'gasly !!' has opened a direct message with 'leclerc !!'

gasly !!: so we are absolutely correct about kimi being so inlove with seb???

leclerc !!: absolutely!!!

gasly !!: im still unsure on whether its requited??

leclerc !!: oh it is.

gasly !!: how do you know?

leclerc !!: 1. have you seen them together????? 2. you dont have to listen to seb talk your ear off about kimi for 3 hours everytime you visit him

gasly !!: thats adorable though you cant lie

leclerc !!: never said it wasnt!! adorable and yet so irritating

gasly !!: reminds me of how you sound talking about a specific someone

leclerc !!: STFU. and like you have room to talk??

gasly !!: like i have room to talk?? i think i do???

leclerc !!: oh? sorry swear im talking to PIERRE GASLY MADLY INLOVE WITH YUKI TSUNODA

gasly !!: EXCUSE ME??? WE ARE FRIENDS I AM NOT MADLY INLOVE

leclerc !!: AND ITS OK FOR YOU TO SAY THAT IM MADLY INLOVE WITH MY FRIIEEENNDD MAX??

gasly !!: I NEVER SAID WHO

leclerc !!: IT WAS CLEAR WHAT YOU WERE IMPLYING

gasly !!: idk.. add it to the spread sheet??

leclerc !!: only if i can add yukierre to the spread sheet

gasly !!: ok now i know youre talking out your ass, what is 'yukierre' ???

leclerc !!: yuki + pierre obviously??

gasly !!: die. we are not putting that on the spread sheet because its FALSE INFORMATION

leclerc !!: which means we arent putting me and max on the spread sheet then

gasly !!: boooo

leclerc !!: die <3

'leclerc !!' has closed this direct message.

____________________

(next!!! this one is after alex compliments georges eyes)

'leclerc !!' has opened a direct message with 'gasly !!'

leclerc !!: GALAX IS REAL

gasly !!: WOOOOO

leclerc !!: ADD THE INTERACTION TO THE SPREAD SHEET!!

gasly !!: obviously !! ALSO YOU OWE ME €30

leclerc !!: WAIT WE MADE A BET?

gasly !!: charles we make a bet on everyone😭

leclerc !!: i didnt think we did one for galax ffss

gasly !!: its like free money you always know how to lose a bet !! <33

leclerc !!: f*ck you!! <3

gasly !!: aww kind offer but no youd probably give me something !! <33

leclerc !!: die

'leclerc !!' has closed this direct message.

_____________________

(next !! this is basically how yukis glee conundrum happened)

'yukino<3’ opened a direct message with ’pear<3’

yukino<3: pierre

yukino<3: pieRRE

yukino<3: PIERRE.

pear<3: yukino? whats up??

yukino<3: IM CRYING

pear<3: what?? are you okay???

yukino<3: NO. IM ON A REALLY SAD EPISODE OF GLEE AND ITS MAKING ME VERY DEPRESSED

pear<3: you woke me up for GLEE??

yukino<3: DID YOU NOT READ MY MESSAGE??? THERE IS NO GLEE. ONLY PAIN AND SADNESS. WHY CALL SUCH A DEPRESSING SHOW ’GLEE’ ?? I FEEL NO GLEE.

pear<3: what episode is it this time??

yukino<3: SUES SISTERS FUNERAL.

pear<3: oh god that was a bad one

pear<3: atleast you didnt facetime me while weeping this time??

yukino<3: oh deffo. that was like

yukino<3: peak embarrassment

pear<3: it was funny

yukino<3: goddamn remind me to never cry around you, just gunna laugh at me :(

pear<3: stfu thats not what i meantt

yukino<3: yeah well youre still terrible at comforting im STILL BAWLING.

pear<3: uhhhhh

pear<3: you could uh

pear<3: im blanking maybe i am terrible at comforting

yukino<3: you really are

pear<3: rude !! im working on it

pear<3: oh what if you did something to cheer you up?? like we could play a game or do a tier list??

yukino<3: a tier list?? are you serious??

pear<3: dont lie i know you love tier lists

yukino<3: okay i do BUT im not in the right mind for that

pear<3: OMG

pear<3: YOU SHOULD ASSIGN ALL THE DRIVERS A GLEE CHARACTER

yukino<3: OH MY GOD

yukino<3: THATS AMAZING

yukino<3: YOU ARE BRILLIANT

yukino<3: I AM DOING IT NOW OMGOMG

yukino<3: I CAN TELL THEM ALL THEIR CHARACRERS ASWELL

pear<3: do it in the morning okay yukino?? you need sleep AND seb might kill us

yukino<3: nope youve set me off im doing it now and im going to tell them immediately

pear<3: oh god what have i done

yukino<3: you had a smart thought for the first time !! im so proud !!

pear<3: ignoring the cruel meaning of that and instead focusing on the fact you called me smart

yukino<3: sigh, you never let me be mean

pear<3: nope !! <3

yukino<3: anyways im nearly done with my list now AND i had a great idea

pear<3: whats that??

yukino<3: im going to change their names in the chat to their assigned character

pear<3: oh christ please dont yukes😭

yukino<3: yeah but i need the dramatics and it would be really funny

pear<3: just wait till the morning and TELL THEM instead of being dramatic

yukino<3: no?? i need the dramatics!! i NEED to be dramatic!!

pear<3: yukino please just wait till the morning i dont feel like being murdered by seb today

yukino<3: boooo ur boring im doing it anyways

'yukino<3' has closed this direct message._____________________(ok the fic is starting now)

'gasly !!' opened a direct message with 'leclerc !!'

gasly !!: carlando???????

leclerc !!: CARLANDOOO

gasly !!: ok im glad i wasnt seeing things, carlos is down bad.

leclerc !!: YES

leclerc !!: i wonder how he does not get the ick from landos typing ??

gasly !!: honestly it makes ME cringe and i barely even talk to lando

leclerc !!: you should be glad you werent there during lockdown

gasly !!: oh god, bless your soul

leclerc !!: ANYWAYS ADD CARLANDO TO THE SPREAD SHEET

gasly !!: of course!!

leclerc !!: i bet you €50 there are already together but just hiding it

gasly !!: do you just.. keep all your logic in a jar and only let yourself use it for racing..??? you ALWAYS lose these bets

leclerc !!: well im winning this one

gasly !!: believe what you want, they are NOT together.

leclerc !!: yes they are

gasly !!: no they arent, you might aswell give me my €50 now😭

leclerc !!: die

'leclerc !!' has closed this direct message.

_____________________

'super secret official formula one business chat'

super max: HOW IS IT MY FAULT??

grid mum: YOURE THE ONE WHO TOLD HIM TO DO IT

super max: HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW HE ACTUALLY WOULD

grid mum: because MAX this happens EVERY DAMN TIME

charles lechair: what is happening??

grid mum: max over here told danny to jump off a roof

charles lechair: what????

super max: NO STOP LYING SEB I SAID I BET HE WOULDNT JUMP FROM THE ROOF INTO HIS F1 CAR

grid mum: SAME DIFFERENCE

super max: NO??? HOW WAS I MEANT TO KNOW HE WOULD TAKE THAT AS A CHALLENGE

grid mum: BECAUSE ITS DANNY

lando🥶💯: danny alr gang?🔥

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): danny is fine, we are at the hospital

super max: sorry again for dragging you into this yukes

pear gasly: yukes???

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): no need to apologise max, i am his teammate after all

charles lechair: 'how slick of you'

super max: you sure?

pear gasly: die charles

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): yeah its ok!! just hope he can still race

super max: yes, though id like to see liam back on the track!!

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): yes same !!

pear gasly: i wouldnt.

albono: jealousy, jealousy.

'pear gasly' reacted '🖕' to 1 message.

oscar pastry: okay olivia rodrigo

albono: what can i say? shes a lyrical genius

britney: yk whos an even better lyrical genius?

albono: no one?

britney: taylor swift

logie bear: DIXJ SONEONE SSY TALYLOR SWIFNT?????

oscar pastry: taylor is amazing

logie bear: taylor swift is a gift from god, sent from the heavens to bless us with her beautiful gorgeous face and voice.

britney: sometimes i think i cant love this kid anymore, then he pulls some sh*t like this

logie bear: :))

britney: fav album???

logie bear: honestly, ttpd is so good

britney: FACTS

logie bear: LIKE IM SORRY BUT ITS SO GOOD??

britney: FAV SONG ON TTPD???

logie bear: fun answer: florida!!! because obviously??? real answer: loml

britney: so real of you

logie bear: whats your guys' fav albums?

britney: MIDNIGHTS AND MY FAV SONG ON IT IS BEJEWELED

lh44: of course it is.

britney: you better not be slandering me mr hamilton???

lh44: f*ck you i do what i want

logie bear: honestly i think taylor wrote bejeweled about you !!

britney: EXACTLY

oscar pastry: my fav album is fearless.

logie bear: thats album is so you !!

oscar pastry: ikr

britney: fav song?

oscar pastry: the way i loved you, or the obvious of fearless

logie bear: a classic

oscar pastry: you belong with me too

logie bear: what

oscar pastry: the song..?

logie bear: OH yeah i like that one haha

britney: oh deer

britney: moving on from THAT. anymore swifties in chat???

charles lechair: i love taylor

britney: slightly unexpected! fav album and song?

charles lechair: i like folklore

oscar pastry: how depressing

pear gasly: quite fitting then id say

charles lechair: f*ck you pierre

pear gasly: god you really are obsessed!! ive already declined this offer <3

logie bear: fav song charles??

charles lechair: i like the story of betty, but illicit affairs definitely takes it for me

logie bear: ugh that song is a whole vibe

logie bear: depressing, but a vibe

honey badger: tsylor talk?? whny wsnt i imvinted?

oscar pastry: arent you in the hospital for JUMPING OFF A ROOF????

honey badger: yeag but liek taylor ovoerpowers tgat

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): no the f*ck she does not. go back to sleep or so help me god the next time you do you wont be waking back up.

honey badger: letcme tell tjem my fav album alteaat??

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): okay, be quick

honey badger: YESS OK SO FAV ALBUM IS LOVER FAV SONG IS MAATHBP OR YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN

grid mum: there is a song called maathbp?

logie bear: no, its miss americana and the heartbreak prince !!

pear gasly: ohhhh

britney: bangers tbh but in lover my fav is deffo the man!!

oscar pastry: a great song with a great message

britney: exactly!!!

honey badger: also max reslly lieks tsylor swifnt

honey badger: hsi fav album is repshdjucsuya

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): sorry about that!! i told him to sleep so now im suffocating him with a pillow :)

super max: 1. how dare you danny i trusted you 2. idk if ur joking or not and it scares me

pear gasly: theres a large possibility that he is absolutely not joking

britney: max you better spit out your fav album and song rn

super max: fav album is rep fav song is gorgeous or dress

britney: love songs? thought youd go for something else tbh

super max: theyre good songs okay??

oscar pastry: well this was fun i didnt expect max to be a swiftie

super max: yes, i am apart of the S.S.S

logie bear: the what???😭😭

super max: the secret swiftie society

albono: secret swiftie society omg😭😭

britney: how much we betting lando is apart of the secret swiftie society?

lando🥶💯: ahaa no way pal shes borin n only rites luv songs😂

oscar pastry: hahaha brb.

logie bear: ..osc?????

britney: deserved.

charles lechair: get his ass oscar!!!

oscar pastry: okay im back !!

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): why did i just see lando walk into the hospital with a butchered face??

pear gasly: backread

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): oh!

oscar pastry: :)

___________________

Chapter 4: who is y/n

Chapter Text

7:34AM

'super secret official formula one business chat'

lando🥶💯: oscar u hv now officialy made it to the top of my list pal😡💥

oscar pastry: oh no, im pissing and shaking in fear.

'lando🥶💯' reacted '😡' '🖕' and '🔫' to 1 message.

chili: lando! you are okay??

lando🥶💯: im okay carlos

oscar pastry: ...????

super max: oh my god..?

chili: okay good, i will come to visit you soon, ok?

lando🥶💯: okay!

albono: OH MY GOD

albono: WE HAVE FOUND HIS CRYPTONITE

pear gasly: why do you guys just make it so easy for me and charles to gossip?

charles lechair: my god

oscar pastry: GOD WHAT THE FUCJ HOW COME CARLOS GETS THSI PRIVILIDGE AND WR HAVE TI DEAL WITH HIM BEING A FREAKY CHARVA

britney: wait why was it talking normally?

chili: he talks normally all the time? what are you guys talking about??

oscar pastry: do you just.. ignore every other message lando sends?? have you not seen the stupid amount of emojis he puts??? and the WAY HE TYPES IS SO STUPID DO YOU NOT SEE THIS LITERALLY SCROLL UP HE THINKS HES SOME HARDASS CHARVA. ARE YOU JUST ACTIVELY IGNORING HIS USER????????

super max: i think oscar has some strong opinions today

britney: you THINK?

chili: it is not stupid, the emojis are funny. i think its cute.

pear gasly: carlos seriously youre just adding fuel to the fire

charles lechair: MY GOD

honey badger: i think landos heart moniter is broken

chili: what????

honey badger: it just started beeping like REALLY rapidly

britney: LMAO.

pear gasly: mf is down bad

'super max' has changed 'chili''s name to 'smooth operator'

honey badger: BAHAHDHAJD

charles lechair: HSJJDJXISA

smooth operator: oh i think i understand now

pear gasly: you guys need to start making bets with charles im about to win €50

charles lechair: die

super max: what do you guys even bet on??

charles lechair: nothing

pear gasly: ..horse

super max: horse??

pear gaslh: neigh..?

oscar pastry: im so done

________________________

6:55PM
'super secret official formula one business chat'

lando🥶💯: FREEDOM🔥🔥

logie bear: YESSIR🦅🇺🇸

honey badger: stop being patriotic, we FINALLY got let out the hospital

pear gasly: you can drive right?? no major injuries??

honey badger: nice to see you caring pierre, yes i can driveeee!!!!

pear gasly: thank god.

honey badger: wow were you really that worried?

pear gasly: errr sure? i was worried

charles lechair: worried that liam would be driving alongside yoursuxuhrbrisix

super max: did he die??

pear gasly: not yet.

super max:....yet?

grid mum: pierre stop suffocating charles

pear gasly: never

oscar pastry: rip lechair you will be missed

super max: okay but like. if you are actually suffocating charles... can you.. not???

pear gasly: i do as i please

pear gasly: nothing can stop me

'yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘)' has added 'esteban' to the group.

pear gasly: omg wtf yuki why would you do this to me im weeping theres actual tears coming out my eyes why do you hate me

charles lechair: IM FREE

esteban: hello to you too..??

pear gasly: f*ck you get f*cked

charles lechair: guys i just had a near death experience wtf pierre

esteban: i feel unwanted here

super max: are you okay charles???

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): we all want you here pierre is just being a bitch

charles lechair: yes i am okay max

pear gasly: wow okay so you do hate me

super max: thats good to hear

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): omg i dont hate you

esteban: i could just leave??

grid mum: no let pierre get over his little grudge

pear gasly: im feeling like you hate me yukino

'honey badger' has changed 'esteban''s name to 'estie bestie'

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): i dont hate you ffs

estie bestie: estie bestie omg😭

lando🥶💯: welcome estiiiee🔥🔥🔥

estie bestie: 😟

oscar pastry: you get used to it

oscar pastry: ...hopefully__________________________super max: OMG

grid mum: omg???

super max: OMG.

grid mum: omg??

charles lechair: OMGG

grid mum: why are we omg-ing??

super max: GUESS WHO WE JUST SAW

super max: WATCHING A ROM-COM

super max: IN THE CINEMA

honey badger: WHO???

charles lechair: LANDO

oscar pastry: WAHT.

logie bear: that was definitely.. unexpected?

lando🥶💯: HWY AREO U SPREADING FALSE INFORNATION ABIUT ME😡

super max: ITS NOT FALSE

lando🥶💯: YSE IT IS UR BOTH LYING

charles lechair: NO WE ARENT WTF

lando🥶💯: YES U AR😡

'super max' has added 'lance stroll' to the group.

lance stroll: wtf is this??

super max: LANDO WAS AT THAT ROM-COM SCREENING WASNT HE????

lance stroll: oh that, yes he was

charles lechair: SEE???

jb22: well that's definitely new

honey badger: A NEW ADDITIONNNN HELLOOOOO MR STROLLLL

lando🥶💯: all of u stfu

oscar pastry: nono this is big news !! did you like it lando ?? what was your fav scene ?? how did it make you FEEL ??

lando🥶💯: enuf ab me😡 lets talk ab how max n charles went to go see a romcom tg🔥🔥

super max: whaaat no??? we just bumped into each other there!! big difference

lance stroll: thats why you were seated together, entered the cinema together and left together?

charles lechair: false information

lando🥶💯: SO NOW IT CAN B FALSE?????😡😡

charles lechair: yes

'lando🥶💯' reacted '🖕' to 1 message.

pear gasly: well well well mr leclerc look how the turn tables have table turned

albono: was that even english

charles lechair: die pierre

'pear gasly' reacted '❤️' to 1 message.

honey badger: wait omg i just had a great idea

'honey badger' has changed 'lance stroll''s name to 'nepo baby'

nepo baby: f*ck you

super max: HSHHDSJJA

grid mum: ...nepo baby???

honey badger: i love getting lance stroll nepo baby edits on my fyp

oscar pastry: lance stroll WHAT EDITS????

britney: you guys rlly need to get on tiktok more

britney: some of the edits are really funny

logie bear: i keep getting depressing edits where either oscar hates me or i hate alex

logie bear: neither of which are true

oscar pastry: WHAT WHO IS SAYING I HATE YOU

smooth operator: lots of people, me especially

super max: carlos you cant just tell people that oscar hates logan😭

smooth operator: but maybe he does??? how am i to know

britney: i keep getting brocedes edits :)

oscar pastry: i do NOT hate logan wtf??? im going to release a statement or something saying i dont hate him

logie bear: help??😭😭

albono: im now worried that logan is plotting my downfall. those 'lacy' edits are a bit worrying

logie bear: stay worried

albono: how reassuring logie

logie bear: wasnt meant to be reassuring mate<3

albono: god smite me where i stand i dont like threatening logan

oscar pastry: that is not 'threatening logan'

oscar pastry: if anything that is 'intimidating logan'

lh44: sorry can we circle back to what nico said

lh44: there are BROCEDES EDITS????????

honey badger: guys pls get on tiktok more there are edits of everyone

britney: would you like me to show you some lewis?? i have lots saved 🤗

lh44: 1. f*ck you die i hate you 2. yes

britney: okay !!

smooth operator: maybe we can pass my title onto nico?

super max: LMAO

pear gasly: so theres edits of everyone??

honey badger: yessir!!

pear gasly: and theres edits of all the pairings too??

honey badger: yeah!!

pear gasly: hmm

super max: hmm??

charles lechair: give us some examples danny, which pairings?

pear gasly: sorry was redownloading tiktok

charles lechair: smooth

'pear gasly' reacted '🖕' to 1 message.

super max: im slightly worried, danny has been typing for a while

oscar pastry: same

honey badger: okay so obviously theres brocedes and then theres lestappen and maxiel, also carlando, landoscar, loscar, yukierre, webbonso, simi, galax sometimes and even some sewis, sebmark and yukiel.

honey badger: and thats not even scratching the surface.

super max: oh my god😭😭

grid mum: like friendship edits??

honey badger: some of them are, some of them not so much😭

oscar pastry: ok wow

oscar pastry: WHO IS PAIRING ME WITH LANDO

oscar pastry: i officially hate tiktok. first they make me hate logan, and now im being paired with lando

lando🥶💯: wats so rong ab me?😡

oscar pastry: a lot pal, i mean i don't mind if it's a friendship edit but..😀

honey badger: how dare you hate my only source of entertainment????

logie bear: i mean the edits of us aren't ALL sad osc, there's some nice friendship ones

honey badger: ur using that word lightly😭

'logie bear' reacted '🖕' to 1 message.

oscar pastry: okay maybe i dont HATE it but its on thin ice

'grid mum' replied to 'honey badger''s message.
grid mum: i feel like im going to regret asking, but what is simi

charles lechair: seb + kimi

ice man: bwoah, can't fans just mind their business?

honey badger: what would be the fun in that???

nando: i have seen the edits

nando: id complain, but mine are amazing

nando: plus our fans are talented, it isnt hurting anyone

mark webbah: yes!! theyre so cool

oscar pastry: its officially hurting me

oscar pastry: i searched for sad loscar and now i want to cry

logie bear: dont cry osc😭 its fine its not like thats reality

oscar pastry: but they look so real??? and so sad. so. very. sad.

pear gasly: who is y/n

honey badger: EXCUSE ME

honey badger: block whatever account made that video IMMEDIATELY😭

pear gasly: BUT WHO IS Y/N??? AND WHY IS THE WHOLE GRID INLOVE WITH HER???

honey badger: oh god that's dangerous territory

honey badger: run while you still can😭

pear gasly: just got traumatised

pear gasly: i blocked them, and im now giving myself a government issued cool down from tiktok

nando: i keep seeing edits of my celebrations to that 'everybody say yippee yo or yippee yeah' song

honey badger: those edits give me life

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): they are amazing

pear gasly: when did you get here yukes??😭

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): a few mins ago, couldn't pass up a moment to tell my grid dad that he's amazing

nando: ah, thankyou yuke!

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): :D

lh44: remind me to never say yes to nico ever again

britney: I THOUGHT I WAS YOUR GRID DAD YUKI

britney: I FEEL BETRAYED

super max: why lewis?? what happened😭😭

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): I CAN HAVE TWO GRID DADS NICO

lh44: about an hour of sad brocedes edits is what happened

britney: fine but i get you on the weekends

nando: hm i can deal with that

super max: 😭😭😭

britney: and you have to look after him on the paddock

super max: how sad were they?

nando: ay ay🫡

lh44: like.. so sad?? they made ME sad and i hate nico

britney: OH AND WATCH UR STEPSON TOO. LOGAN NEEDS TO BE LOOKED AFTER WHEN JENSON ISNT COMMENTATING

honey badger: 'i hate nico' famous last words

nando: lmao😭 will do.

super max: BAHSHSHS

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): i have officially collected grid dads

logie bear: welcome to the family

lh44: famous last words my ass, i will never not hate nico

yuki (๑˘ᵕ˘): :D

britney: you hate me lewis??

lh44: so much.

britney: my heart is hearting. <3

lando🥶💯: see iv learned nicos srcsm now

britney: so smart !! would you like a sticker??

lando🥶💯: dont b rude😡

britney: im being serious, would you like a sticker?

lando🥶💯: ...

lando🥶💯: if ur offerin..

_______________________